Wednesday, November 09, 2016

In Control of MY Happiness

I'll always be #WithHer
I'm crushed by the election result. We watched it at Erika's house and even had the audacity to wonder what time we could relax. "Think it'll be speeches by 11pm?"
I went to bed at 11pm still in denial, thinking I'd wake up this morning and it would be okay. But no. Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

He's not my President and if anyone tells me to buck up and come together, I'll tell them no. No I won't. I won't come together with a misogynist and a racist and someone who mocks the disabled.  No. And if anyone wants to know more about why I feel like that, I'll tell them to read this.

Today I was sad and I cried when I got up, in my car, and a little at my desk. I texted with friends and loved ones. We consoled each other at work and I hugged my kids a lot and told them not to be scared (yes, they were both scared). But a feeling of grief and sadness has hung on all day. I have literally felt sick and sad all day long.

But thank goodness for Pantsuit Nation! A secret Facebook group that is 3 million strong and full of women and men of all ages, colors, abilities and religions with one central connection - our love and support of Hillary Clinton. Today we cried together, shared stories, offered support, and so much more. The unique thing about Pantsuit Nation is that ALL members share the same sentiment. There's no arguing, no trolls, no nasty comments. Just us, all together.

And so today it felt like a penny finally dropped and I realized I CAN DO THE SAME THING WITH MY FACEBOOK PAGE! Why didn't I do this before? Why does my personal Facebook page give me anxiety and stress and sometimes make me feel bad because people post things that are rude or hurtful or against my values? Why am I allowing these people to have a negative impact on my life?  I'm in control of my happiness and I feel stupid that I let it go this long.

I'm not keeping score, but today I cleansed my page of a few toxic people. I blocked, I unfriended and I unfollowed and it felt GOOD. Not in a retaliatory way, but in a soothing way. A couple of times I actually hit the unfollow button, sat back in my chair and let out a big relaxed sigh. How amazing will it be to have my Facebook feed full of love, kindness and positivity from now on? It will be a beautiful thing.

Of course I'm mostly unfollowing, so people don't know and therefore won't have their feelings hurt (British to the end), but it's already helping me heal and feel good about life.
I wish I'd done this years ago.

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