Talking with a mum of 3 boys recently, I asked her for advice. She said "exercise them like dogs!". It seems like this might be some trusty advice. Friends with girls seem to have much calmer children. Children that will read and do a puzzle and entertain themselves for a few minutes. My boy is a lunatic, and I mean that in a lovable way but OH MY GOD, from sunrise to sunset he is like a mini tornado. He does not stop talking, asking "why", asking me things, telling me things, demanding things, doing things, dumping, pouring, crashing, tumbling, leaping, running and wrestling.
He refuses to nap in the afternoon until I threaten him with violence.
He fights sleep at bedtime so fantastically that it's actually impressive. When he finally goes off, I sit down with a glass of wine, huge knot in my chest and just breathe out ... ahhhh. Poor Danny gets as much attention as I can physically give when I have a whirling dermish in the house.
But Jack is SO smart. He's not even three and wowing us every day with his vocabulary and school skills. He's truly amazing and funny as hell. There isn't a day goes by he doesn't make me belly-laugh. And he's so kind and loving.
I worry though that he's too manic, bored too easy with no attention span. I see other toddlers at restaurants eating quietly and my son is telling me in his loudest voice why mushrooms are nice, knocking his water over, chatting-up the waitress and then trying to climb out of his seat. Sometimes he's so intense that he frustrates himself and I can see it on his face.
It's hard being a mum to such a character. I worry that he's too out-of-control, then I worry that I'm shouting at him too much and breaking his spirit. It's such a science isn't it, "mumhood"- trying to raise an independent human being but at the same time trying to instill some time-honoured principles.
2 comments:
Boys are hard, hard work - your friend is right about exercising them like dogs.
With my first child was I decided that gender wouldn't make a difference to the way I raised it. It turned out to be a boy and Ha! all my right-on notions went out of the window. While the mothers of little girls watched them playing quietly and colouring-in neatly, mine was the child which swung from the curtains and jumped off the furniture. Two more boys followed and it got no better however hard I tried. I have done the experiment and am convinced it is nature not nurture that wins out in the end.
Having said that - I wouldn't swap my young men for all the neat girlies in the world.
I was totally unprepared for raising a son. I grew up with 1 younger brother, but with 4 older sisters, he didn't act like your typical boy. Jacob is ALL boy, and while he is totally opposite me in personality, I love him fiercely and wouldn't trade him for anything. Sure, I wish he'd learn to talk quieter and play more gently, but those things will come in time...I hope!
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