What a Bonkers Week

Saturday: Craig went to a gun show & Jack locked himself in the bathroom. No amount of me shouting and him frantically trying to turn the knob helped. He was crying and I was worried to death he was going to find a razor and bludgeon himself to death with it. In hindsight that was probably more common in 1940 when everyone used razor blades, but I wasn't thinking so straight at the time. I ran out of the house, leaving him in the bathroom and Danny in his swing, and I legged it across the road to a neighbour. Just as I got to their porch I saw a HUGE black stray dog galloping towards me, like something out of Hound of the Baskervilles. Then I heard Danny wake up and start crying. I thought "are you bloody kidding me? One kid locked in the loo, another yelling and I'm going to get eaten on my neighbours front step by a rabid dog". I crouched down on the porch and the dog turned his head towards my house when he heard Danny. S**t, I thought. I had visions of him crashing through the screen door at my house and getting Danny. Luckily he trotted off towards the main street and I legged it to my next neighbour, Bo, for help. Bo came right over, armed with a coat hanger, and saved the day. Phew.

Sunday: Went to the cabin & Jan stayed with us overnight. It doesn't matter how old we all get. When we get together we drink too much and stay up too late.
Monday night we all met up at BW3's local restaurant = too much beer & stayed up too late.

Tuesday morning Jan left to go back to California. When she went to visit another friend during her short stay here, they had snuck a big orange vibrator in her bag for a laugh. She was of course mortified and left it at our house as she carries her flight bag onto the plane and didn't want to have to put it through the x-ray machine at the airport gate. Just before she left for her flight I put it back in her bag (he he he)

Tuesday night - A lovely visit from English friends that live in South Carolina. Drank too much, stayed up too late (see a pattern here?)

Wednesday: Jack fell over at day-care and bashed both his knees in. He is milking his injuries for every single scrap of sympathy he can muster & makes me carry him around the house like Heidi. It's hard to say "no" to such a character, even if my back is killing me.

Thursday: I had something I had to get done at work and didn't get to it for a million reasons. One included a request from someone to help them out, which I did. Then as I was leaving them and jumped into my car I split my jeans across the bum and had to run home to get changed. Thank God my neighbours were not gardening when I got home to see me limping into the house with my bum hanging out.

In the afternoon I got an email from Jan saying they x-rayed her bag 3 times at the airport and that she has lost faith in humanity. On a good note, they didn't confiscate it and I have a feeling I'll be seeing ol' ginger again.


I got home from work at 8pm tonight and am now determined to go to weight watchers tomorrow. Split jeans are a good indication that its time to eat celery. And wine of course. I'm sure tomorrow will be equally frantic BUT it's a bank holiday weekend, both in England and the USA, so we have 3 days to unwind.

Marvelous!