Monday, June 23, 2014

Weight Loss: Part 5 Million and Twenty Six

This is me in October 2008, nearly 6 years ago. I was five months pregnant at the time with Daniel but I was still living a healthy life pretty much every day.

This is right before my "sod it I'm going to eat what I want" phase which lasted for the rest of the pregnancy. I ate at least 50 cherry pies during that phase & gained at least 50 lbs by the time Daniel came. I've piled a few more on since.

My issues are a mixture of drinking too much wine, changing my job responsibilities so that I'm sat down much more than I ever was, and not being very good at what I eat.

I've blogged too many times to remember about getting healthy again, being on a diet, laying off the wine, re-joining WW etc.  I feel like like a broken record. What will stop me from repeating this cycle? A failed liver? Diabetes? Getting stuck on a roller coaster ride because I can't get my fat ass out of the seat?

I do know that I go through periods of fantastic motivation where my head in in the right place and then I have these periods where I literally say "f*** it!". But right now I'm in the motivated mood so let's see how I do!

I haven't weighed myself though. I think it might actually be a de-motivator for me if I did since I'm heavier now than at any other time of my life. This might seem weird but that's how I feel. I was talking to a woman at the weekend about it and she kept trying to harass me, saying that I must weight myself or else what is my motivation?!

Well my motivation is to feel normal again...

1. To get back into my normal clothes
2. Not squirm when I catch a side profile view of myself in a shop window
3. Not grunt when I paint my toe nails
4. Get out of the pool without looking like I'm also hauling a cargo net full of salmon in my swimsuit
5. Wear tank tops

Of course there's all the other motivational things about playing with my kids, feeling healthy, running a 5-K. All those kinds of things. But right now my motivation is just about me feeling normal again. Wish me luck. Again.  

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