Cornish Pasty Shenanigans

My British Group are having a bake sale and so I thought "ha! I'll make Cornish pasties!" Every English person I know, without question, loves Cornish pasties.



Because I am in tune with my absolute crapness at cooking I did not want to cook the night before the bake sale so started early this week:

Monday: too dry & bland. Damn I am bad at cooking.

add more butter and onion powder and carrots

Tuesday: More pepper, still too dry.

Thursday: Kids were a nightmare, friends over, remembered I should have been cooking pasties about 2am when the storm woke me up.

Tonight: I am the pasty queen! Here's my special recipe after a few wines:

Makes 4 Pasties

Pastry:
3 cups flour
1.5 sticks butter
Pinch salt
Mix all together with fingers until the texture is like sand
Drink wine, wipe floury hands on clothes, dog and children.

add water to make dough
Drink wine and make dough into funny shapes, then wrap in cling-film (cellophane)

Refridgerate dough for 30 minutes

Mix Filling in a Big Bowl:
Peel 2 medium potatoes and 1 small turnip and chop them into tiny cubes. Turnips are not to be confused with rutabagos, which people will tell you is the same thing but it is not even close, so tell them to bugger off

Drink wine and try & work out why turnips and rutabagos might get mixed up, then turn the iPod up and have a little dance in the kitchen. Queen were just amazing weren't they?

Peel & chop 1 onion and carrots into tiny cubes
Chop beef steak (buy cheap, thin steak, & cut the fat off) into tiny cubes
Add 1 tsp salt, loads of pepper and a bit of onion soup mix
Give it a big stir.

Take pastry out of fridge

Cut into 4
Roll each one into a circle
Put filling along middle
Wipe edge of pastry with egg
Squeeze edges together and pinch into a squiggly design. Okay, now it's got too complicated. Please watch the video HERE


F*** Pasties. Drink wine & dance to Queen.

If you have lost yourself & forgotten how good it feels, here's the video to remind you ...


Comments

Fantastic recipe Pam - I will definitely have a go at this one. Queen fantastic also - Freddie Mercury - the best.

I'll bet those pasties were good - but after a few glasses of wine - who cares. A x

PS what are rutabagos?
Expat mum said…
HOw long and at what temp do you bake them for? Also - is it a real recipe as I might have a go. I guarantee my pastry will come out more like a hockey puck than yours but hey, worth a try.
Freddie, Freddie! Ah!
Clippy Mat said…
shenanigans is right. that's a lot of work for 4 cornish pasties!! I always bought something and transferred it to my own plate/container and claimed it was 'home made'. isn't that what everyone does?
I agree with the end bit, drink wine and listen to Queen!
:-)
Pam said…
Hi Anne,
Sorry I've been AWOL but life has been nuts. I've watched this video 10 times. Freddie was just so fab & totally unique.
A rutabaga is apparantly a cousin of the turnip!

Hey Expat! Yes real recipe. Don't be shy on the pepper and seasoning (I used a bit of onion soup mix), otherwise it's bland. Temps: 425 for 20 mins, then 325 for 40 minus but check on them. Good luck!

Hello Clippy: Maureen LOVED the Parky book so thanks for that. It's doing the English round. I made 8 pasties while totally pissed and they sold within 5 minutes. and I got orders for more! Moral of the story - only cook when drunk.
mountainear said…
Haven't eaten a Cornish Pastie for years - probably because I was put off by dry potatoey ones.

Rutabagas are swedes - which the Scots might call neeps (as in 'neeps and tatties') Most countries seem to consider them as cattle food.Mashed, buttered swede - delicious.

Turnips are turnips - except when I talk about neeps and tatties, then they are neeps.

Confused? I am.

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