Thursday, January 05, 2012

Salad Rant

Being on a health frenzy (is it possible to lose 30 lbs before my conference next week?) I have been consuming a lot of salad lately. The veggie salad is my favourite because it has radish and carrots and cabbage in it as well as the usual lettuce. It also has snap peas in it though which I pull out with disgust. Which brings me onto my rant. At our work's Christmas party one person brought a salad with cooked, cold green beans in it. Thankfully I spied it before I put it in my mouth or I might just have barfed all over the white elephant gift I brought. Green beans for goodness sake!

Here's my list of things that do NOT belong in a salad:

Green beans (especially cooked, limp and cold)
Snap peas
Bacon (cold bacon? I'm a bacon-lover like anyone else but come on!)
Croutons (dry bits of toast?)
Sunflower seeds
Cranberries
Copious amounts of cheese (some Caesar salads have so much Parmesan cheese on I can't see the lettuce)
Lashings of dressings
Walnuts
Raw onions
Peppers
Apples, pineapples, strawberries and any other fruit


I realise this makes me weird to some people but I'm English. A salad in England is lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and a bit of sliced carrot if you're lucky. If you ask for a salad dressing they will bring you Heinz Salad Cream. If you ask for ranch they may just have it. If you ask for fat-free buttermilk ranch with poppy seeds they'll start laughing at you.
I don't think this makes me picky or a philistine in any way. I think the food, and especially the salads, have just got ridiculous. Just give me lettuce!

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