My Dad

My dad rang tonight with some not-great news about his health. I don't want to say bad as he reads this blog and is probably upset enough. He is okay, not in hospital or anything, but he's been diagnosed with something that needs monitoring. I wish I was in England right now so I could go over for a brew and see him more regularly but of course I am not. We talked a bit about what a great life we have in America (no doubt) and I said something about "things" not really mattering and family coming first of course, but I guess things do matter because without them we can't eat or have protection or health care or transport. So while I yearn to be in England for my family & friends (especially my dad right now), the fact is that we have a better life here. I'm sure that's a sad fact of life that most expats live with. Loving the life, but missing the family.

Wishing on a Star

Tonight before the boy's bedtime we took them outside to see Venus & Jupiter, which are so prominent this month in the western sky. By sheer luck, as soon as we stepped outside, a huge shooting star went right over our house. I was a bit scared actually and said "What was that!" thinking it might be a meteor. I'm a numpty sometimes.

I told Jack to make a wish on the shooting star. He looked sad and said but it never comes true or it takes too long. When I asked him what he meant he said remember the wishbone wish I made ages ago? I said yes. He said well it never came true. I said why don't you tell me what it was and I might be able to help (thinking I might get a good hint for his birthday or something). He said I wished for a big ball that you hang and it spins and you dance under it. Bless.

T-Shirt Rant

Healthy living starts today (deja vu)! It's funny how a 70 degree day makes me say that. Probably because I don't want to have to wear a t-shirt that will show off all my flab. Talking of which, I hate that shops only sell capped-sleeved t-shirts. We don't all have skinny arms and I hate having my bingo wings on show. Why can't they sell t-shirts with 3/4 length sleeves or at least long enough to cover up most of the wobbly bits? Why are there racks and racks of t-shirts for all sized women with only capped sleeves? Ridiculous.

And while I'm on a rant about t-shirt sleeves, what is up with all the bat-wing stuff out there? That was hideous the first time around in the early 80's never mind bringing it back now. I remember a particular lemon-coloured little number that I used to wear that had a bat wing from the waist to the shoulder, and to really show it off I added a black patent-leather belt around the hips. I was hot stuff. Even male friends wore bat-wing denim jackets in those days - now if THOSE things come back in fashion I may have to start beating people.

Anyway, my goal is to lose a ton of weight by the time the outdoor pool opens Memorial weekend. I have started writing stuff down that I eat and I will try very hard to lay off the beer and to exercise more. Wish me luck. Again.

Danny's sick & torturing me with Barney

As Jack was sat eating his breakfast this morning and I'm trying to get the dogs outside, Danny stood in the middle of the kitchen and threw up. Several times. Thankfully I didn't have my contact lenses in so it didn't look too bad to me, but Jack put on his best theatrical performance and yelled "arghh! I'm going to throw up, get away!" and I had to help him flee the room with his eyes closed while his brother continued to decorate the floor. It did occur to me that thankfully Ben the batty dog was outside or he'd have tried to eat it and that would have completely destroyed Jack.

So I am now at home with a poorly child who has thrown up three times, destroying two sets of bedding and a pair of shoes so far. As I type he is keeping down some watered-down orange juice and a fruit popsicle so fingers crossed it stays in his stomach.

I spoke to a nurse at the pediatricians who scoffed at me when I mentioned that people have been talking about a "norovirus". She asked me if I had heard that term on the TV, before telling me it was a posh word for a tummy bug and not to worry. Just keep him hydrated. So norovirus is joining "stomach flu" and every other stupid term out there for what is in fact a tummy bug.

Right then. I'm going to try and make him have a nap and I will tell him to cooperate because he owes me big time. Not because I'm having to take time off work, but because he made me watch Barney and I detest that purple weirdo with a vengeance.

Sunny Day at Cedar Cliff Falls

Today it was 68F and sunny in Ohio - it doesn't get better than that really does it? I worked out that we spent about seven hours today outside of the house which felt a bit weird for a weekend. Craig said he actually felt a bit stressed leaving the house that long, all on it's own. Strangely enough I know what he means.

For a big chunk of that time we went hiking at Cedar Cliff Falls. We did a 3 mile loop and both boys did great. A little way from the car, on the way back, Jack had a minor benny and whined "carry meeeeee" but he soon bucked-up & Danny just soldiered on. I think doing 3 miles at age 5 and 3 is awesome I really do. We treated them to ice cream on the way home and then had a cook-out in the garden. All in all, a fabulous day.

Hurrah Henrys

Yesterday Jack threw up at school and I had to go and get him. He told me that it happened during a video in his class about "boiled eagles", bless him. When I picked him up he was wearing clothes that the school nurse had put him in, 3 sizes too big and far too scruffy-looking so we scurried home and I got him changed quick. He had another throwing-up episode later on too but today he's fine. 24-hour bug hopefully.

As I type this, Craig's watching his telly program about Big Foot sightings in the Midwest. He's even convinced Jack that these things exist and not long ago Jack told a friend of ours at the park that he lives in our neighbourhood. I'm half-watching it if only for the presenter wearing a baseball hat that says "Gone Squatching". I'm going to bed soon because I put all the clocks forward a couple of hours ago and it's freaked me out and made me feel like I should be in bed already.

After a very quick and painless visit to the post office this morning, I have now got mine, Jack's & Danny's passports sent off. Next task is booking the flights to England. I cannot wait to see my family and friends and show my lads where we are from. I'm so proud of England and I want my boys to feel the same.

Tomorrow we have a hike planned and it's going to be a gorgeous sunny day. It's going to be one of those days where I want to spend all day outside in my garden lounging on a chair, a bit like these two hurrah Henrys.

Two Little Stories

Two little stories I loved today.

First, I was playing hide-and-seek with Daniel this morning before work. I counted to ten and then shouted "coming ready or not!" and he shouted back "I'm behind the couch!"

Our water meter broke and a guy came this afternoon to fit a new one. Ben and Jack both pestered him of course. Jack hovered over him, asking what he was doing. Linda said he announced "I have to watch you carefully so that I can get a job like you when I'm older". The guy said, no no no you want to get a better job than this and Jack said "well actually, I'm going to be a superhero's sidekick".

Things to Get Excited About

I do like to have things to look forward to and plan for. The trip home to England isn't booked so I'm not too excited about that quite yet but I have sent away for my passport ($244, robbing bar stewards!) and I'm getting the boy's passports processed this weekend if the Post Office cooperates and doesn't treat me like a bloody nuisance like they do normally.

Anyway, my look forward to list for this spring & summer is the following:

• A night out with my hubby to see Noel Gallagher on my birthday.
• A night out with a girl friend to see Barry Manilow. Oh Mandy!
• A big street party for the Queen's Jubilee. That's right. We are going to apply for a permit to cordon the road off and party like only a bunch of ex-pats can. Bring on the Pims and the pasties!
• A big road trip with Craig's mum, dad and nephew Luke to Nashville (Opry and showboat) and Memphis (Sun Studios, Gracelands and Peabody Hotel), Asheville in North Carolina (Table Rock Mountain and The Biltmore Estate), and Beckley West Virginia (white-water rafting for Craig & Luke. I will potter about with the kids and Dot & Harry thank you very much. Once was enough).

It all sounds great doesn't it. I am especially happy to start planning the road trip because I loooove road trips. The open road, seeing America and having little adventures. There will be seven of us in the minivan and whenever I think of our trip I conjure up images of Little Miss Sunshine and the crazy way they had of starting their VW van. I'm also looking forward to Jack & Danny having some family here to pester, err I mean play with.

Going Doolally at a Rapid Rate

I think I need a holiday or a few days off work at least because I'm completely scattered-brained and I have zero patience and well, I just feel pissed off most days and I don't like being that way.

Yesterday I did two utterly brain dead things. First I sat in line at the Starbucks drive-through for 10 minutes and then when I got to the pick-up window I realized that I hadn't even told them what I wanted at the little speaker thingy at the front of the line. I was so mortified that I just drove off. No doubt the baristas were killing themselves laughing about it and I'll have to avoid the place for a while. THEN, when I got to work I took my bunch of keys out of my bag to open my office door and I tried to automatically open the door by holding up my car keys and pressing the button on it. Am I deranged?

This morning on my way to work I tried at two Kroger locations to buy a money order for my new passport and had no luck. When I finally found a customer service desk that had the right paperwork she told me I had to pay cash (debit cards aren't cash apparently) then the ATM said my limit had already been reached. WTF? The limit for how long, an hour? Sometimes I hate my credit union. By this time I was ready to kill someone and I swear if someone had even been slightly rude to me at this point my head would have exploded.

So I need to chill because I hate feeling like this. I used to feel like I could do it all, like Wonderwoman, and now I feel like I can't do anything. Working full-time and raising two kids and keeping house is just an amazing feat for me, every day. How on earth do other mums cope that work full-time? How do they keep from going completely doolally? One of my colleagues at work keeps telling me to get a cleaner and a friend keeps telling me to take time off work, but the economic times are not good for either of those things right now. Also, I'm not a "let it go" kind of person. I met a man at a party recently who's a single dad and he said he has to just turn the other cheek to laundry and mess and dirt. No way on earth that's me. That wouldn't help me at all. In fact that would tip me over the edge because I can't rest even if the bathroom bin is half full. I don't even clean my teeth without cleaning the sink at the same time.

But I need to chill out somehow and reading "The Happiness Project" didn't help. If anything she got royally on my nerves by the end of the book. I gave up wine too darn it to hell. My step-dad sent me some snuff for a laugh, maybe I should give it a whirl?

Batty Ben & Roald Dahl

Ben the batty dog continues on his path to destroy the house, this time eating the duvet on my bed. I think I might just have thwarted his poo-eating though. He's been eating Cody's each time he goes into the garden which is just about the foulest thing I've ever seen. He even stands behind Cody and waits for him to finish the dirty deed. If I see him I shout at him and I can run outside sometimes and get to it first (to sling it out of course, not to enjoy a nibble myself) but for the last few days when I've been doing my clean-up duty in the garden I have not been finding any of Cody's which means Ben has been eating the lot. He's quite partial to cat hairballs too the dirty bugger. Anyway, I bought some pills yesterday that I can put in Cody's food and apparantly it makes dog poo taste foul enough that Ben won't eat it. Doesn't it taste foul enough? I asked my dog-loving co-worker, to which she replied that to a dog it can sometimes be like a nice bit of pate. The good news is that this morning as I was leaving for work I saw Cody's poo in the garden - untouched! Victory! I never thought I'd be so happy to pick up dog poo when I get home.

Moving on from that gross subject, I just read two FAB books by Roald Dahl about his early life - "The Boy" is about his childhood in Wales & England and the follow-up "Going Solo" is about his time in South Africa and during WW2. Each is just a small paperback & thoroughly enjoyable. I definitely recommend both of them.

End of Weekend Round-up

It's hard to type when you've got a dog lying on you and your computer. It's even harder to sleep while he's lying on your legs. Ahhhhh Ben, the loopy mutt. No change I'm afraid, except that now I've bought a big enclosed crate like a cat carrier that he can't try and chew his way out of, so the hair is growing back around his nose. I nearly took a picture yesterday of Jack in the crate (his new den) and poor Ben stood outside of it trying to get in, but I didn't want children's services banging on my door accusing me of crating my five year old. I did however bring home two great boxes from work last week that they both actually slept in last night, after their bedroom camping trip...

Today was glorious, so after Jack's swimming lesson we took the dogs out for a walk in the sunshine. As an extra bonus, I managed to put Danny's gloves on in one go! Actually it was just on one hand but the sense of achievement was huge. Normally it's like trying to put gloves on a sticky octopus. Anyway, as I was getting the boy's bikes from the basement, Craig was outside with two dogs on the leads and two kids, all being unruly. I heard loud barking and went outside and there's a woman stood at the end of the driveway with a snarling barking dog on a lead that she can barely control and she's saying to Craig "I can't get my dog trained, it's so hard". Craig's ignoring her best as he can and I'm wheeling both bikes out & flashing looks that say "Lady, we have two kids under 5 and two dogs and really don't want to help you train your dog right now". After a few minutes she walked away. Some people are so crazy about their dogs they really believe everyone else should be too don't they. I agree with Ron White on this one - I'm a dog-lover that just loves their own dog.

We got some big things done in the house this weekend, including buying a rug big enough to cover the whole floor in the boy's room. And I bought a cube shelf that the boys helped put together.

We also starting watching Sherlock this weekend and we love it. And what is not to love about Benedict Cumberbatch and his splendid English name! I am also reading a wonderful book. Just a small autobiographical paperback called "Boy" by Roald Dahl but I'm really enjoying it. There are so many similarities from my own childhood when he talks about the local sweet shop and how you acted around adults. It's made me laugh quite a few times but it's also a bit gruesome - a boy's boarding school in 1920s England was definitely not Disney Land.

Lastly, Jack is doing great at school & in life. He brought home "an end of week award" on Friday and his reading is coming along great guns. He's also finishing up grade level 2 swimming. When we got home from the baths today and I was emptying his wet bag I saw that he had taken two lots of Mardi Gras beads with him to his lesson. What a goofball.