Friday, March 02, 2012

Going Doolally at a Rapid Rate

I think I need a holiday or a few days off work at least because I'm completely scattered-brained and I have zero patience and well, I just feel pissed off most days and I don't like being that way.

Yesterday I did two utterly brain dead things. First I sat in line at the Starbucks drive-through for 10 minutes and then when I got to the pick-up window I realized that I hadn't even told them what I wanted at the little speaker thingy at the front of the line. I was so mortified that I just drove off. No doubt the baristas were killing themselves laughing about it and I'll have to avoid the place for a while. THEN, when I got to work I took my bunch of keys out of my bag to open my office door and I tried to automatically open the door by holding up my car keys and pressing the button on it. Am I deranged?

This morning on my way to work I tried at two Kroger locations to buy a money order for my new passport and had no luck. When I finally found a customer service desk that had the right paperwork she told me I had to pay cash (debit cards aren't cash apparently) then the ATM said my limit had already been reached. WTF? The limit for how long, an hour? Sometimes I hate my credit union. By this time I was ready to kill someone and I swear if someone had even been slightly rude to me at this point my head would have exploded.

So I need to chill because I hate feeling like this. I used to feel like I could do it all, like Wonderwoman, and now I feel like I can't do anything. Working full-time and raising two kids and keeping house is just an amazing feat for me, every day. How on earth do other mums cope that work full-time? How do they keep from going completely doolally? One of my colleagues at work keeps telling me to get a cleaner and a friend keeps telling me to take time off work, but the economic times are not good for either of those things right now. Also, I'm not a "let it go" kind of person. I met a man at a party recently who's a single dad and he said he has to just turn the other cheek to laundry and mess and dirt. No way on earth that's me. That wouldn't help me at all. In fact that would tip me over the edge because I can't rest even if the bathroom bin is half full. I don't even clean my teeth without cleaning the sink at the same time.

But I need to chill out somehow and reading "The Happiness Project" didn't help. If anything she got royally on my nerves by the end of the book. I gave up wine too darn it to hell. My step-dad sent me some snuff for a laugh, maybe I should give it a whirl?

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