I am not a good people manager/supervisor. Terrible actually. I think I'm good at my job and I am really productive and self-motivated but ask me to supervise people and I start to lose sleep. For one thing, I would just rather do it myself because I think I can do it better. And I squirm from having to interact constantly to make things happen. In fact sometimes I downright hide from people. Shameful isn't it. And I also don't like the whole discipline thing. I have always been highly motivated so never got disciplined and so I don't like to dish it out. Even when I should.
If I was a "project manager" I would probably tell you what kind of personality I have in the business world because all this must mean something. I know this because some time ago I worked with a project manager that made me take a personality test before we worked together. He wanted to see how we'd interact. I hated that test with a vengeance and it's left somewhat of a bitter taste in my mouth about "project managers" ever since. I don't need a project manager telling me what needs to get done. I know what needs to get done. I need someone to help me get it done! It's like someone following you around while you are cleaning your house saying "If you had a better vacuum cleaner this wouldn't take as long. Oh and the curtains need a wash - I'll put that on your schedule for 5am tomorrow okay darling?" Yes, project managers are that annoying.
Sooo, back to my original point. I do not like supervising people but I always seem to be. Right now I'm employing 2 people (soon to be 3) and overseeing 3 student workers. As usual I have taken on 99.9% of the work and they come and go and try to help or ask for guidance and I just get irritated and shoo them away.
But not tonight. Tonight I just cracked and had had enough! I sent out a half dozen emails and dished out responsibilities for the next few days. And they had better just get on with it. And oh it felt good. I think I have crossed a barrier and there's no turning back (sorry if that's cheesy but that's how I feel). I guess I got to the point where I was so busy that I looked around and saw all these people that should be helping me and I finally asked them to.
Why don't I do this more often? I might actually sleep tonight.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
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