Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Transparent Child

Someone once told me that boys are completely transparent and I'm finding out that it's true.

Jack tells me when he draws on the coffee table with his crayons, when he's going to "sneak" out the front door "moma, I'm going to go out the front door!", when he breaks a toy, spills his food, frightens the cat. He tells me every single time. I suppose he has yet to develop that trait of personality that makes you devious or crafty. Maybe, as a boy, he won't? Most times I'm happy about all of this, that he's honest with me. But sometimes it creates a situation that I'd really prefer to avoid.

Two nights ago he called me into his bedroom to show me water he'd spilled on his rug. I know he didn't have a water bottle and there's no water in his room so I said "did you wee on the rug?" He looked terribly guilty and tiny whispered "no". I said "don't ever lie to me Jack, tell me the truth - did you wee on the rug?" and he tiny whispered "yes". I asked him why. He grinned at me and replied "because I had to".

For a moment I thought "Bollocks. How do I handle this? I just told him to tell me the truth and he did, so I can't punish him or he'll lie to me for the rest of his life. But he just weed on the rug"

So I took Danny to the park and as a punishment he had to stay behind with dad. And he cried real tears. Big blobs of tears rolling down his cheeks. It made me feel like crap but this is what discipline it's all about, right - sticking to your guns, even if it makes you feel terrible.

Last night when he got home from school, he said "Can we go the park mama? I didn't wee on the rug today" and I had to look away so he wouldn't see me smile.
I do wonder sometimes if he repeats all this stuff to his teachers at day-care.

3 comments:

elizabethm said...

When my 3 year old grandson is about to do something bad he signals it by saying as he leaves the room "I be right back Grandma". Every time!

Swearing Mother said...

Ah bless him. Reminds me of when my sister's boys were little (she had four)and one of the lads came rushing up to her, stood thinking about what he was going to say to her that wouldn't get him or any of his brothers into too much trouble, and eventually blurted out "nobody has tried to flush Dinky down the toilet".

After a quick search Dinky the cat appeared, soaking wet and in a state of shock but essentially unharmed, but her youngest had found a way of alerting her to the trouble without pointing the finger at any of his brothers or owning up himself.

Born diplomat that boy.

Clippy Mat said...

hopefully Jack will always remain so 'transparent'. bless him :-)

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