Butties for Babes

Movie director Stephen Frears made two great comedies years ago, one called The Van and one called The Snapper. Both were about the same working class family in Ireland and they were both hilarious and touching. Anyway, there was a scene in one where the husband, who's a bit of a bully at one point, says to his wife "I'm sick to death of having easy slices (cheese singles) on my sandwiches! For the love of God woman, give me something else!" As he leaves for work the next morning, the wife is in the front doorway, leaning nonchalantly against the doorpost, and her daughter says "easy slices ma?" and she says "yeah". It's such a classic moment.

What am I babbling on about now you might wonder? Well packed lunches as it happens. Packed lunches are the bloody bane of my life. Here's why:

The lunch has to be cold

He hates cucumber

No choking hazards such as grapes, cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks and celery. Celery? really? Call me cynical but never in 41 years did I ever hear about anyone dying of celery asphyxiation.

No pb & j or anything that might harm kids with allergies, which is a fair point and one well taken

He loves egg sandwiches but I don't want to make the lunch room stink of trouser-coughs

I am far too busy & normal to make stuff like this ..

Any ideas for me? Please?